So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
