we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
