considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
