Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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