the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
