Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
