Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
