Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
