so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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