Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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