It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
