I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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