i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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