party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
