put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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