ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
