She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
