Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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