Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
