Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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