so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
