Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
