ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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