Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
