She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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