that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
