cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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