Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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