Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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