So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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