I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize