I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you traded sex for a burrito?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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