Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
