Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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