Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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