I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
MIDGETS
????
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
