I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
