So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I love you.
Bad choice
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
