Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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