u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
