Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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