I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
