i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
