Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
