ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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