I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
