I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
