Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
