Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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