he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
