I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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