Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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