Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
