You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
