what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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