she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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