Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
