This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
