We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
