Swine flu. Run for my life!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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